August 12, 2021
The combination of these effects shattered his self-esteem. For almost a year and a half, we experienced a new kind of rollercoaster until he found the proper medication and acceptance of its place as part of his treatment. Once he felt comfortable again, his smile and warmth returned along with a new playfulness. I discovered that those traits were his innate qualities and not alcohol-induced.
I gave up the other love of my life, my beer and whiskey, because I thought that’s what needed to happen to repair my marriage. Sheri had felt like the second most important thing in my life for years. Offering to stop cheating on her with my liquid lover wouldn’t do anything to fix the pain of the years of betrayal.
Angie, his wife, finally divorced him, and Ted’s access to his children was limited by the courts when Ted refused to submit to random drug testing. This becomes increasingly complicated, however, when one parent has a history of substance abuse dependency that raises issues of safety for the children. Courts make decisions about custody based on what they determine is in the best interests of the child.
If you are married to an alcoholic, then you are very much aware of the serious problems that alcohol abuse has with your marriage and family. Watching a loved one struggle with addiction and feeling unable to help them can be painful. While some of the strain that addiction causes to relationships can be mended in early sobriety, not all relationships can be repaired. Drug and/or alcohol abuse can lead to a substance use disorder. Although divorce procedures and rules vary for different states, many U.S. states reimburse the sober individual for any finances lost to their spouse’s addiction.
If your spouse is actively struggling with substance abuse, your current living environment may not be safe or comfortable for you and your children. Seeking new living arrangements may be a time-sensitive issue. It’s also true that addiction isn’t always the only factor that can lead to divorce. Other issues within a marriage, such as a lack of compatibility, can become clearer after a person has become sober and is able to process the effects of their addiction on the relationship.
In a marriage in early sobriety from alcoholism, the first step to our recovery was to look back over our shoulders and deal with the aftermath of my two-and-a-half decades of drinking. What is more, if a court determines that the Spouse’s concerns about the Dependent’s substance abuse history are being raised to obtain leverage in the custody dispute, this will not ensure the Spouse’s benefit. In fact, it could have the opposite effect and lead a court to believe that the Spouse is trying to interfere in the relationship between the Dependent and the children. For many divorcing couples, resolving custody can often be the most protracted part of the process.
Nagging or pressuring your spouse into changing immediately will not work. It takes time but with a loving and supporting spouse – any goal can be achieved. Through improved communication and in time, you may be able to get a clearer idea of whether your relationship can be saved, and whether you want it to be. Temporary separation from your spouse may also be an option to explore. Addiction doesn’t self-correct, and while threatening divorce may create greater urgency for your spouse, they may require greater intervention in order to seek help.
Drugs and alcohol, for instance, are known to have effects on the brain. These effects can make it difficult for a person to stop misusing substances. Alcohol and divorce after sobriety drug abuse can also cause other life difficulties, such as difficulty concentrating, unstable mood, and a lack of interest in activities previously enjoyed.